Situation

I mentioned that I was trying to quit doomscrolling on a ride back home from Tagaytay. I said I was trying to replace it with reading books. A few days later, my dad starts declaring to everyone at the house that he was also going to start reading. This has also happened before, when I took up something else, I just forgot what that was. It would always put me off and I would quit whatever it was right as he would take it up.

Theories

1. He’s Trying to Regain Control or Reassert Dominance

If you've historically been the scapegoat or target of emotional abuse, your self-improvement might feel threatening to him. Abusers often rely on their target staying small, uncertain, or insecure. When you grow, it disrupts that dynamic. Copying you could be his way of trying to reestablish control by:

• Minimizing your progress by imitating it mockingly or superficially.

• Trying to one-up you or compete with you subtly (or even openly).

• Positioning himself as the “authority” on your own growth path.

Signs: Sarcasm, subtle belittling while copying, or trying to "outdo" you.

2. He’s Trying to Maintain Connection, But in a Dysfunctional Way

Some emotionally immature or narcissistic parents try to "mirror" their children when they sense a threat of emotional distance or independence—but they don’t know how to connect healthily. Copying may be his flawed way of saying: "Look, I'm like you too. Don’t leave me behind."

Signs: You’ll notice this behavior is clumsy or inconsistent and may still come with insults or mockery, because the underlying emotional immaturity hasn’t changed.

3. He’s Experiencing Envy or Insecurity

If your self-improvement highlights what he hasn't done or been able to do, it might trigger envy or shame. Instead of processing that, he might copy you in an attempt to protect his ego.

Signs: He might downplay your achievements while mimicking them, or try to shift the spotlight to himself.

4. He Might Be Genuinely Influenced, But Lacks Emotional Awareness

It’s also possible—though less likely if he’s consistently harmful—that seeing you grow is inspiring him in some way, but because he lacks emotional tools, he expresses it through mimicry rather than direct communication or support.

Signs: He might not openly support you, but subtly adopt habits or behaviors you’re trying out, without acknowledgment or grace.

5. It’s an Attempt to Undermine You Through Imitation

Some narcissistic or controlling people mimic others to blur boundaries or create confusion. It’s a form of psychological manipulation—a way to steal your identity, minimize your uniqueness, or invalidate your agency by making it seem like you're not really doing something original or worthwhile.

Signs: He starts copying things that are personal to you—your routines, clothes, speech patterns, interests—then frames it like it was his idea or that you are the copycat.

Advice:

• Keep observing without engaging emotionally. Treat it like data. This isn’t about you—it’s about his inability to handle your autonomy.

• Protect your space and growth. Be discreet about what you’re working on if needed.

• Validate yourself. His reaction is a reflection of his discomfort with your growth, not proof that your progress is wrong.

  Work on boundaries. If it feels like he's invading your identity or sabotaging your efforts, stronger emotional or even physical boundaries may be needed.